Day 7 and 8: A day in the life

I'd like to say that things are getting easier, but really, it's a mind over matter game.  I find that it is much harder for me to keep focus when I'm at work than it is on the weekends.  When I'm at home, it's not so bad.  So last night I had the opportunity to go to a friends house to scrapbook.  I really debated on going because I knew that there would be food around.  I really enjoy munchies!  I went back and forth and finally decided that having a life was part of the reason I was doing this diet plan in the first place, and if I kept myself from going places simply because there might be food there, then I was denying myself the life that I wanted.  So I went and took my soup with me.  My friend Karen was great about me having my own food, and we had a wonderful time!  Everyday it gets easier.  I keep reminding myself that the plan is not the hard part. Truly it is not.  I can honestly say that I am not hungry drinking only shakes.  They are very filling.  In case you are wondering what my eating schedule looks like, I thought I'd post a list of what I've been eating this past week.


Breakfast:
1 Chocolate HMR 800 Shake
1 Vanilla HMR 800 Shake
1 Tbsp. Sugar-free fat free instant chocolate pudding
1 Tbsp. Sugar-free fat free instant vanilla pudding
3 Tbsp. ground flaxseeds (Good to aid in digestion and gallbladder health)
16 oz water
6-8 ice cubes


Mix everything in a blender until the ice is crushed and the powders are well mixed.  I pour half of the mixture into my Starbucks brand insulated cold beverage cup so I can drink it through a straw.  The rest I pour into a blender cup and keep in my lunch-box where it stays cold. I finish all of this by about 9:30 am.


Lunch:
1 Chocolate HMR 800 Shake or Vanilla HMR 800 Shake
1 Tbsp Malted Milk
12 oz water


Place in a shaker bottle and shake until dissolved.  It's great!


DInner:
1 Chicken Soup HMR 500 packet
1 tsp organic chicken bullion (low sodium)
10 oz water


Simply heat the water with the bullion, then add the packet of soup.  Whisk together and drink.  I make mine in a mug.  To the soup you can add seasonings as long as the are calorie free.  My favorites are curry powder, onion and garlic powder, and an MSG free spaghetti spice that I got at Sam's Club.  It has bits of onion and garlic, so soak it in water first to soften, then heat the water and enjoy.  I have this soup once when I get home, and a little later as well since 2 packets of soup = 1 shake serving in terms of calories on my plan.


Dessert or Snack:
1 Vanilla HMR 800 Shake
1 Tbsp. Sugar-free fat free instant pudding (any flavor)
6-8 cubes ice
2-4 oz water


Crush the ice in the blender until you have little chips.  Add the Shake packet, pudding, and then the water.  Mix until well blended.  It's really creamy and yummy!  A little mini dessert!


In addition to those items, I take my daily vitamins that come with the shakes, omega 3-6-9, which I buy separately, and I drink 2-3 quarts of water.  It's a lot to take in, but I get it done! 138 of 147 days to go!

Week 1: My First Weigh In

So tonight was the big night and I learned several great things.  First, my beloved soups that are really helping with food cravings have always been limited to replacing one shake per day, but because of the calorie count, I get 2 packets!  That means I can have soup at lunch and still have a soup for dinner!  Woo-hoo! Second, the dietician thinks that I'm doing great, and is not concerned about the diabetes, which she says will change over the course of the plan.  Third, I am doing great with my blood pressure which did come down from the initial time. (I still think the initial was a fluke.) Finally, I lost 8.7 pounds!!!!! Go me!  I am so excited because this has been a very hard week, not on the hunger side, but on the emotional connection to food side.  I am such an emotional eater, but the classes, encouragement from friends, and the fact that my hubby is along for the ride are making it a bit better.  Here's to next week!

Day 5 and 6: This is tough!

So you can tell by the title that this has been tough for me.  On Tuesday I went to Pat's Peak with the ski students after school and I so wanted to eat a grilled cheese like I usually do at the lodge.  I was really struggling when I happened to see the nurse who runs the program I am doing.  Just seeing her face made me think "I can do this!"  I was very good, and came home and had soup instead.  I realized that I needed to eat more shakes earlier in the day, since I am struggling to get them in at night.

On Wednesday, I made a double shake for breakfast.  It seemed to help!  I wasn't hungry at my "normal" lunch time, so I had my third shake right after school, a soup for dinner, and a shake for dessert.  I got on my home scale today since my official weigh in is tomorrow and I wanted to see how things looked.  It seemed good on my scale, but the one that matters is the one at the office, so wish me luck! I'll post numbers when I get back from my meeting.

Day 4:Soup to the Rescue

Well day four is finished and it has been tough.  I still have no problems feeling full, so that is a big bonus!  My darling hubby made an early morning run to get the chicken soup that we needed, and that combined with a late start day at school meant that I could eat something other than just shakes today!  That first taste of soup was divine!

I am still struggling with the idea of food.  I don't think I was ever aware how much time I spent during my day, thinking about food, planning my next meal, or looking up food related items such as new recipes or different cuisines.  It has been a MAJOR adjustment for me to not think about these things.  I find that when my mind wanders, I think about food!  It's no wonder that I am as big as I am!  I think that the reality is that even when I was doing great with food, it took up so much of my time that I really wasn't doing a great as I thought.  Does that make sense?  So my challenge today was to get past the food that I was dreaming about.  I started by writing down a list of the things I was missing as I though of them and it was a real eye opener.  Every single items that I eventually wrote down are food that I would typically put in my "emotional eating" column.  They are my comfort foods.

Here is my list:
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with Tuna (Sounds gross, but is totally yummy!)
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy (notice the lack of meat here?)
Baked Chicken and Rice

All of these are carb heavy, fat filled foods that I have been eating since childhood.  I think I have too strong of an attachment with food.  I'm beginning to understand that my weight loss success is going to be entirely mental!  I have to relearn everything about food and the body, which will be a challenge for me.  But I can do this!

Day 3: Something Savory

Okay, so I'm still on plan, and still not hungry, but I have decided that I officially miss food.  I think that all of the sweet shakes are getting to me.  If I could just have something savory, I think it might get better.  Today, my energy levels seemed to improve.  Yesterday I was sluggish and irritable, but today, it seems a little better.  Here are my challenges so far:

1) Getting in all of my shakes.  I feel like I have to many at the end of the day.
2) Getting something savory.  I'm missing cheese right now, so I know I want salt!
3) Water, water, water...but it is getting better too!
4) Exercise!  I did take another 30 minute walk today, so that is a big improvement.

I am nervous about going back to work tomorrow.  I'm sure it will be interesting to be on plan!

Day 2: Mind Games

Today has been much harder than I expected.  I have not been hungry, as the shakes really fill me up, but I have noticed so many more cravings.  What I really want is cheese!  I am craving cheese like nobody's business.  I think that it must mean I need some savory items in my diet.  One if the items I can purchase is a chicken soup, but it's not recommended on the first week due to the sodium content.  This is definitely something I will be purchasing next week!

One thing that did help yesterday was my ability to mix up some of the shakes into something other than a shake.  Sounds funny right? I can make muffins, cookies, and puddings from my shakes and that seemed to help.  Yesterday, I made cinnamon muffins that were great!  They were a little more dense than normal muffins, but it was nice to chew something.  Plus, one side effect from a liquid only diet is that your gallbladder becomes under used.  If I make muffins, I can add flaxseed, which aids my diet in so many ways, and gets my gallbladder working.

For dinner, I made a chocolate cheesecake pudding.  I did this by adding 1-tablespoon of instant sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix to my shake along with crushed ice, and a little water in a blender.  Yummy!  It was just like eating dessert.

I did better with my water today, but I slept a lot more today as well.  I think my body is getting rid of all of the bad things that I have been putting it through for years.  I keep reminding myself that this is a process.  One step at a time.

The last thing I did today was to track out how many days I think I will be on the decision-free plan.  This is the shake only part of the plan, before transition and maintenance.  I have just been telling myself, since before I began the program, that I would probably be on the decision-free plan until the end of my school year in June.

Day 1

Today was my first day on the shakes, and I have to say that the chocolate ROCKS!  With just water, it tastes like a creamy chocolate milk.  I like it with more water than suggested, it says 7 ounces, but I like 12 ounces.  I'm using a blender bottle from GNC to mix up my shakes.  It has a little roller whisk inside that dissolves the powder quickly.  I did try a vanilla today as well, but I'm not a fan of plain vanilla.  Luckily, I had some sample shakes before I purchased them, so I knew what I was getting.  I ended up mixing my vanilla into a 12 ounce cup of hot coffee!  It was yummy!  I got my morning caffeine fix, sweetened my coffee, and had a shake all at the same time.  I think that this will probably become my breakfast from now on.

The other only program requirements for the day are to exercise and drink water.  It is recommended that you exercise enough to burn 2500 calories each week.  That is roughly 350 calories to burn each day.  I went for a 30 minute walk with my hubby around the mall.  It's funny to be a mall walker, but it's to cold to walk outside, and it exercise component was stressed as essential to weight loss.  Besides, I don't want to pay for exercise if I can help it.

As for water, it's been a bit tricker for me to get my water in.  I have always struggled to drink enough water, but I never realized how bad it was until today.  I have to drink at least 2 quarts, and the more the better.  It was really tricky for me.  It's something that I will have to pay attention to as the weeks progress.

My Starting Stats

So today I went to my first meeting, which is actually called the initial screening.  This is where my starting data is taken, my final questions are answered, and I purchase the first set of shakes that I will consume for the week.  The great part about today was that I got to meet some of the other participants in the group.  Just for those who are wondering, here are my starting statistics:

Weight: 325
Breast: 54.25 inches
Waist: 53 inches
Hip: 61.25 inches
Neck: 17.75 inches
R. Thigh: 33.75 inches



Now to begin!  Tomorrow, I start by drinking my shakes. I get to have 5 per day to start. I can have more if I feel hungry.  The most important thing is for me to remember to drink plenty of water! Here's to tomorrow!

Tomorrow it begins....

Tomorrow I complete the final step of the process that takes me on my weight loss journey.  For the next several months, I will completing the Decision Free Weight Loss Plan from HMR through my local hospital.  This means several things for me: 1) I will be on a very low calorie, medically supervised diet, 2) I will not be eating "real" food for several weeks, 3) I will be losing weight very quickly, and 4) I will be changing my life!

For those who do not know me, here is a brief glimpse into my life.  I am 33 years old.  I have been married for 10 years to a great, albeit also overweight guy.  I am a teacher, but do not have children of my own. For several years, I have tried to lose weight, but always seem to fail.  I get to around a 20 pound loss, and my body seems to quit.  At this point I weight around 325, and on my 5'6" frame, this places me in the morbidly obese range.  At my age, I don't want to live this way any longer!  I desperately want the weight to come off, and feel that this is my last resort.  I have been diagnosed with PCOS for around 9 years, and recently I was told that my blood-work show a pre-diabetic trend. I refuse to take medicine for the rest of my life simply because I did nothing to help my body out.

So here is the plan, I will be working with my doctors to complete the HMR decision Free Plan.  This consists of meal replacement shakes and soups for the first several weeks (usually around 12 in total).  There is also a daily exercise requirement.  I plan on using my Wii Fit during the winter months and simple walking/running as it warms up. After that, depending on my blood-work, weight loss, and overall health, we will decide if I need to go on maintenance or continue on the program.  My guess is that I will be doing this for the rest of my school year which ends in the middle of June.  I plan to post daily/weekly how I am doing on the plan (the eating part), what exercise I am getting (the physical part), and how I am handling my issues with food (the emotional part).

Tomorrow after my initial screening, I will post my weight, BMI, measurements, and pictures so you can see my transformation.  Please feel free to ask questions as you follow along with me!  I am very nervous, but excited to be starting this program!