The Process

I know I'm not the best at updating, and I promise I will get better!  I hear many people say that WLS is taking the "easy way out".  I beg to differ!  I have been to counselors, sat in group lifestyle changes classes, worked with nutritionists, and exercise physiologists, been part of so many different diet program including medically supervised ones all in the name of trying to lose weight.  I diligently track what I eat, measuring and weighing out my food.  I exercise daily, usually walking with a friend, but also lifting light weights, and the pounds just DO NOT COME OFF!

Right now, I am involved in what I lovingly refer to as "The Process".  In order to be eligible for WLS through my insurance, I need to meet certain criteria.  I have to be either over a BMI of 30 but less than 40 with a few known comorbidities or have a BMI of at least 40.

Well folks, let's just say that I would qualify either way.  My BMI is 54, and I have PCOS, and Diabetes.  Plus, it hurts to move and I don't think my knees can take much more of this.  Since I know that I qualify, there are several requirements that I need to fulfill. All summer, I have been seeing doctors, working on losing weight and trying to meet the clinic requirements.  The ONLY thing left on my "TO Do" list is to lose the 30 pounds I need to lose before surgery.  I'm required to lose 10% of my starting body weight to show my commitment to the program.

SIGH!  If I could lose 30 pounds on my own, I wouldn't be here in the first place!  So I am trucking along, at 1200 cal a day trying to drop the pounds.  While some would argue that it's not enough to eat 1200 calories per day, at my size, with my activity level, it should be enough to at least drop some weight.  It's more than I was eating on my medically supervised diet. So over the next few weeks, as I struggle to lose the final 20 pounds I need to go, think of me and remember why I chose to do this.  I know it might seem extreme, and it is a tough and very personal decision, but I believe that if I don't do something now, while I am still relatively young, I might not have much time to truly enjoy my life when I'm older.

Starting over again...notice a theme?

Okay, so I kept up all of my original posts so everyone could see what I have done in terms of my weight over the past few years.  Yes, I was successful with certain program, and yes, my weight went down.  But as of May 29, 2012, I was back up to 320 pounds and more discouraged than ever.  Unless you are, or have even been an overweight person, you do not understand what it is like to live life on a daily basis.

After much contemplation, I have decided to move forward with gastric bypass surgery.  Over the next few weeks, I will bringing wall of you up to speed as to where I am in my journey.  I am still pre-op, but for my surgery center that requires more hoop jumping than I EVER imagined.  Some of it is due to my insurance agency, and some due to the program requirements for my center.  If you are just finding my through a web search, follow along on my journey!  I am not shy and plan to post pictures, and tell you how I feel as I work through the process!  So welcome!

Hectic few weeks...

So I have had several crazy weeks in a row and suffice to say, they have gotten the best of me.  As of yesterday, I am back up to 310 pounds, which means that I am not heading in the right direction.  I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, but I am disappointed that my focus has not been where it should be in terms of my health.  However, I have taken a few steps to rectify that in the past several days.  First, I am starting a walking program through my school starting tomorrow.  That means, that I have established a baseline of steps that I take each day, and I will enter any steps past my baseline into the challenge.  The goal is to "walk the paths taken during the American Revolution", and to compete against others in my school.  It should be a fun experience that focuses on exercise.  


Second, Jason and I have started kettlebell training.  I am super excited with this development.  Kettlebell training is something that has been around in Russia for years.  It uses weighted kettlebells to improve strength and give the user an all over cardio workout.  We are using kettlebells and workouts from the Art of Strength company. They have great kettlebells, and great workouts.  So far, I'm using a 8kg kettlebell for my workouts.  Let me tell you, it is shocking for me to do these routines.  They seems like they should be easy, but it is kicking my butt!  Here's what I am doing this week as my starting point:

Basic Kettlebell Drill

(20) 1 Arm Swings (10 each side)

(10) Windmills (5 each side)

(20) One Arm Cleans (10 each side)

(20) Military Presses (10 each side)

(20) Two-handed Swings (20 total)

(20) One Arm Rows (10 each side)

I am doing two full sets of this routine, which right now is taking about 30 minutes.  I take a 30 second rest between each exercise, but the goal is to not rest and move from one exercise to another without stopping.  I also hope to work up to doing three full sets in the 30 minute time frame.  

So as you can see, I've changed my focus from the food aspect to the exercise aspect.  Don't ask me why, because I really don't know, but I do think it has something to do with the fact that I LOVE food, and really have a hard time limiting what I eat.  It just seems that every time I try to cut out certain foods, I blow it, so maybe by not eliminating foods, and focusing on exercise, I can keep the weight off for good!

Ciao for now!

Lauren

One Week Down....5.8!!!!

Yeah for me!  I am so excited to see a number like this since I am doing a more modified program than last time.  It is going so well to be eating one meal per day and then shakes the rest of the day.  Last week, my "daily meal" was all over the place.  Sometimes it was lunch, sometimes it was dinner.  This week, after really looking at when it would be the best time for me to eat, I am going to try and eat my "daily meal" at lunch.  I am choosing lunch for several reasons. First, it gives me time to work off the calories before bed.  Second, I can take stuff to work to make lunches and keep my pantry free of food, which I know I will eat if it is there. Third, it keeps my eating habits out in the open, where I am less likely to eat more since other people are around. Fourth, it means minimal dishes at home!!!  I loathe doing dishes and this means that I will have fewer to deal with! Last, it means less time in food prep, so I have more time to exercise!  I don't love exercise, but I don't hate it either, and I know that it is good for my body and mind!  If I am eating shakes for dinner, then it really opens up time at night for exercise, and that is a good thing all around!  Hopefully I can keep up the good work, and continue to lose weight.  My goal for this week: more water!  I did great for the first few days, but have really slacked the last few.  I need to be drinking all day long!

Well...

The phasing stage took longer than anticipated, so this week I will really be on shakes all week!  LOL!  We just had to much food in the house for us to start last week.  With this economy, I hated to throw out good stuff, just to begin shakes a week before I was ready!  So, if you are with me, I start full time on shakes tomorrow!  I am a little nervous, but I have had several this past week as fillers for meals and the shakes are as good as I remember!  I attached my start pics so you have an idea.  Remember I'm still down from last year, and yes, I'm in my pj's here so don't laugh! Wish me luck!

Starting Over Stats

This week, I am starting over on my HMR shake weight loss program.  I will not be completing a full week on shakes since we still have lots of food in the house that we don't want to just throw out.  So, I will be slowly phasing out the food, and phasing in the shakes.  Plus, my goal is not to be strictly on shakes this time, but to have some fruits and veggies as well.  I want to lose weight safely, and enjoy the process.  So what I am really doing is a combo WW and shakes program.  I will track my daily food points, including the shakes points, and will continue to weigh in weekly for accountability.  Here I go!!!


Starting Stats:


Weight: 309
Breast: 54.5 inches
Waist: 53 inches
Hip: 61.25 inches
Neck: 17.75 inches
R. Thigh: 33.75 inches


Here is the funny part, I weigh less, but my starting stats are about what they were when I started last time?  I wonder why?  Oh well!  Here's to a good first week!

Why Am I Here Again?

I lost about 50 pounds last year through diet and exercise.  I was hoping to lose enough weight to possibly try for a baby.  I am, and always have been, very practical when it comes to being a mom.  I was told at 23 that I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and that it would be more difficult for me to conceive. It was, for a long time, not an issue for my husband and me. In fact, there were several years that we were against having kids since one or both of us were in school and working full time and we didn't think that it was fair to have a baby at home being raised by someone else. Not that we are against daycare, but I worked all day, and had school at night, and he was in classes all day and studying all night.  Not really a good environment for a family.  But as we have gotten older, the idea of having a child has come up more and more often in conversations.  So last year, we decided to focus on our health, and then try to conceive.  We scheduled an appointment with a specialist since we knew that we have had difficulty in the past.  To put it bluntly, almost 11 years of marriage, no birth control, and no babies.

Well that doctor's appointment went so poorly, that I still cannot think about it without getting angry.  To summarize, I was told that I was to fat to conceive, and no the doctor did not say fat, but she did give me a once over, looked only at my weight and height which the nurse took when I got there, did not ask for any of the 10 pages of medical history that we had to fill out prior to the appointment and proceeded to tell me that her office had a policy not to work with people who were in my BMI category!  This was after waiting for the appointment for 3 months. She ignored us when we asked about testing Jason to rule him out since we know that I have issues. Seriously, I almost slugged her, and I am not a violent person.  

Since that appointment, subsequent depression, and recent surgery to have my gallbladder removed, I have gained about half of that weight back, and so I am starting over.  In order to be under the threshold, I need to lose another 60 pounds.  I will NOT be going back to that doctor, but to another center that was recommended to me by a person I work with who went through treatments and really like the care she received. The new center would also like me to lose some more weight, but they were upfront and very encouraging about what I had done so far.  The were great over the phone about what I need to do, before even seeing me, and they told us what we need to do to get my husband tested an so on.  So I have a plan, and a goal, and I know I can do it!  

2011 Goals

1. Stay focused on exercise - cardio 3-5 times per week, weights 2-3 times, with gradual increases each session (ex. go up one in resistance or speed each time I am on a specific machine, or adding weights each time I lift)
2. Keep up those shakes! -  Since I had such success before using them, I will use 6-8 per day which is more per day than last time.  This time, I have more confidence since I know what to expect, how my body responds to shakes, what I feel like if I need one more, and I truly enjoy the shakes.  
3. Set a specific time limit - Last time, I had tentative timeframes in my head due to school breaks, summer trips, and so on.  This time, I want to have a set goal of 20 weeks.  It really helps my mental game to be able to tick off the weeks as I progress.  This goal takes me from a start date of 2/14/11 through the last week of June, which is one week after the end of my school year.  
4. Water, water, water - I ALWAYS struggle with getting in enough water each day!  Someone once told me that if I drink 20 oz of lukewarm water with lemon each morning when I get up, before anything else, that it would really serve two purposes; to flush out toxins from my system, and to help restore a neutral pH balance.  I am going to do this everyday!  Another thing I have learned, and this is from reading several articles about weight loss and water, is that you should try to drink half of your body weight in ounces of water each day.  For me that is a TON of water!  Well actually it is only a little over a gallon each day, but for someone who barely gets in a 20 oz bottle everyday now, it will be a huge adjustment!
5. Post each week - Once again, I am committing to post weekly for my few friends who know that I am doing this!  I choose each of you carefully, since I am by nature a very private person.  I hope that once again, you will check in with me to see how I am progressing, and to help keep me accountable.  I promise to post pictures again, since I know you like to see the changes as much as I do!  

Starting Over, Again....

I am finding that this is a reoccurring theme in my life.  I take one step forward, and then two steps back.  Since my last post, I have had many ups and downs.  I lost a lot of weight, but it was challenging!  I realize that I could have been better about my exercise, not in that I didn't go, but that I could push myself harder. I could also be better about focusing on my goals.  A few weeks ago, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. It was painful before the surgery, and the healing process has not been pleasant.  But I am getting there. As I have been at home, healing and resting, I have realized that I am out of practice taking care of myself. Last year, during my initial weight loss journey, I was so good about taking care of me, but old habits die hard, and I have slipped back into not taking care of myself.  So I am recommitting!  I am giving myself a week before I begin, not because I am trying to get out of it, but because I have been taking time off after my surgery and I need to get back into my regular schedule before I get down to business. Plus I could use the extra week to heal and get back to normal before I start with a new exercise and eating routine.

Week 15: Down, Down, Down

Well, this week I did not lose a bunch of weight, only 1 pound, but since it's been a tough week, I'll take it!  I've been very sick with an incredibly bad cold, so eating and keeping my shakes down has been a great struggle.  You would think that I could lose more weight because of my illness, but when you can't get fluids or calories in your body, then your system just grabs on to whatever you do get in there and holds on for dear life!  I hope to see a much more reasonable loss next week, but it might take me a few weeks to recover.