Why Am I Here Again?

I lost about 50 pounds last year through diet and exercise.  I was hoping to lose enough weight to possibly try for a baby.  I am, and always have been, very practical when it comes to being a mom.  I was told at 23 that I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and that it would be more difficult for me to conceive. It was, for a long time, not an issue for my husband and me. In fact, there were several years that we were against having kids since one or both of us were in school and working full time and we didn't think that it was fair to have a baby at home being raised by someone else. Not that we are against daycare, but I worked all day, and had school at night, and he was in classes all day and studying all night.  Not really a good environment for a family.  But as we have gotten older, the idea of having a child has come up more and more often in conversations.  So last year, we decided to focus on our health, and then try to conceive.  We scheduled an appointment with a specialist since we knew that we have had difficulty in the past.  To put it bluntly, almost 11 years of marriage, no birth control, and no babies.

Well that doctor's appointment went so poorly, that I still cannot think about it without getting angry.  To summarize, I was told that I was to fat to conceive, and no the doctor did not say fat, but she did give me a once over, looked only at my weight and height which the nurse took when I got there, did not ask for any of the 10 pages of medical history that we had to fill out prior to the appointment and proceeded to tell me that her office had a policy not to work with people who were in my BMI category!  This was after waiting for the appointment for 3 months. She ignored us when we asked about testing Jason to rule him out since we know that I have issues. Seriously, I almost slugged her, and I am not a violent person.  

Since that appointment, subsequent depression, and recent surgery to have my gallbladder removed, I have gained about half of that weight back, and so I am starting over.  In order to be under the threshold, I need to lose another 60 pounds.  I will NOT be going back to that doctor, but to another center that was recommended to me by a person I work with who went through treatments and really like the care she received. The new center would also like me to lose some more weight, but they were upfront and very encouraging about what I had done so far.  The were great over the phone about what I need to do, before even seeing me, and they told us what we need to do to get my husband tested an so on.  So I have a plan, and a goal, and I know I can do it!